You are standing right in front of the elevator from the ground floor
and they ask:
- Going up?
- No, no, I am waiting for my apartment to come get me.
You’re in the toilet when someone nocks on the door asking, "Is anyone in there?"
Response: "No! The Sh!t is talking to you!"
My roommate works in a convenience store that sells condoms from behind the counter. A kid came up and asked him for a box. My roommate responded, "paper or plastic?!"
Gross, but funny!