From Singaling Press. December 8th, 2018.
What was supposed to be a fun Christmas dance party for High School students in Washington D.C. at William Jeffery High yesterday turned into a disaster, and a warning for all schools that attempt to be too politically correct during the Festive season. Students were all set to attend the school's dance party, which was to consist of Christmas music, featuring a live band from a local senior's center, as well as fruit punch and Christmas food-themed snacks. However, due to a complaint from local parents, several of whom are atheists and were offended by the Christmas-themed party at the school, teachers and the principle changed course at the last moment. The senior's band were called and told not to bother showing up. Christmas songs were also banned from the dance party. Instead, the school quickly hired a local death metal band to play live metal music instead. As well, students were instructed to wear heavy metal-themed clothing and goth outfits as well. The fruit punch and Christmas food was quickly replaced with hard liquor, beer, marijuana, pizza and assorted junk food. Students were shocked but thrilled at this turn of events, which occurred in order to avoid offending both parents and students with non inclusive, discriminatory and outdated "Christmas culture", according the the school's principle, Mr Mike Dweebmeister.
Dweebmeister, along with several teachers, are now in jail pending bail due to the fact that several students got very drunk and high and a riot broke out during the dance party. Several students began fighting and the Police were called in to restore order. Police are also looking for the identity of the individual who set fire to the school gymnasium where the dance party took place. Fortunately, no one was injured, however, the school itself burnt down. Students will now have to travel several miles away to neighboring schools in the New Year for the remainder of the school year. Many parents are outraged at what transpired at the school dance and called the school irresponsible and neglectful for allowing the dance to go ahead as it did. However, the local school board defended the school, saying that it's important to practice tolerance, inclusiveness, and to avoid offending any parents or students at all costs. Said one school board member, "Even if drug and alcohol and other related charges were laid and the school burnt down, it's all worth it if it protects the feelings of parents and students. Feelings matter more than anything in this day and age and we stand by our principles and teachers and will vigorously defend them in court next year." He added, "Christmas is just too offensive for many people and we just cannot allow people's feelings to be hurt."
Reporting for Singaling Press, I'm Singaling. Merry Christmas to all our readers.